Men are usually considered to be the most turned on by
visual stimuli (think about it: how many strip clubs and adult
magazines are actually targeted toward females?), but
women are actually quite turned on by a man’s face, bo dy
and movement as well, say Meston and Buss. “s exually,
women are attracted to men with masculine features,
although not too masculine,” Meston explains. “A little
light stubble is usually a turn-on for women if it’s clean and
well-kept. bo dy-wise, women generally find men with a V-
shaped torso or a high shoulder-to-hip ratio s exually
attractive. Motion is important, too, as women find athletic
prowess and agility to be s exual turn-ons.” The bottom
line: If you’d like to get her in the sack, a good first step to
take might be getting yourself into the gym.
2. The time of day
Meston says that women are very individualized in terms of
when they most prefer to get it on: “In general, women want
to have s ex when they feel their best — when they have
energy, feel connected to their partners, aren’t distracted by
work or stressful daily events, and when they feel s exy —
and that may or may not be at night.
” In order to figure out
when a woman’s most likely to be in the mood, pay
attention to the times she seems the most energized and/or
chilled out. Try thinking outside the box — you may find
that she’d love a post-jog quickie right before her shower!
3. Certain smells
Meston and Buss explain that, for women, sense of smell is
far more important than it is to men when it comes to s
exual attraction. Simply put: if a woman doesn’t like the
way a man smells, it’s often a deal-breaker — whether she
consciously realizes it or not. The number one turn-off
reported by most women is — not surprisingly — bad
breath, says Buss. A woman’s sense of smell also plays an
interesting biological role in what attracts her to a man,
according to Meston: “Olfactory signals provide a woman
with a wealth of information about a man’s health, hygiene,
and even his genetic makeup,” she notes. Pheromones —
tiny airborne molecules that humans emit from various
glands in their bo dy — can influence a woman’s desire to
be s exually intimate with a man. Male pheromones have
been shown to provide information on a man’s symmetry,
which is an indicator of genetic fitness and ultimately can
determine whether a man is genetically compatible with a
woman. “For many women — whether they realize it or not
— scent can play an important role in determining her
willingness to have s ex with a man, given her ‘sense’ of
whether they can produce genetically healthy, strong
children together,” says Buss.
4. Her guy’s choice of words
Often, what a man says is more important than what he
does when he’s trying to get a woman in the mood.
“Offering compliments is usually a sure-fire way of making
someone want to get closer… although, if the compliments
come across as insincere, they will actually turn her off,”
says Meston.
To score extra sincerity points, make references to future
activities you’d like to do together, explains Meston, noting
that showing signs of commitment can often be s exually
alluring to women. Buss also notes that a man with a sense
of humor is also a s exual turn-on for the ladies: “If a man
can make a woman laugh, it relaxes her and makes her feel
that he ‘gets’ her,” he says, adding that a good sense of
humor also conveys some key qualities women want in a
mate: intelligence (it’s hard to be witty if you’re not too
bright), the ability to gauge her emotional and social
perspective (a.k.a. having the mind-reading skills to know
what she will find amusing), and social verve or confidence.
5. The need for revenge
In their research, Meston and Buss found that many women
had “revenge s ex” with someone other than their most
recent dating partner to get back at a cheating partner or to
“even the score,” as some women put it. “Some women
hoped their ex would find out about it and feel angry or hurt,
and other women said they didn’t care if they found out or
not — they felt better just knowing they had gotten revenge,”
Meston explains. Why is the need for revenge such a turn-
on for women? “Revenge can serve two basic functions,”
Buss explains. The first function is one of deterrence: just
as bullies stop picking on victims who retaliate, cheating
partners sometimes stop their illicit activities when the
other person retaliates in kind.
The second function of revenge is “reputation
management,” says Buss. “Women who are scorned
sometimes suffer damage to their social reputation,
whether they are cheated on or dumped. Having s ex —
especially if it is with someone who is relatively high in
‘mate value’ — can sometimes help to restore a woman’s
reputation,” he explains.
6. Genetics
Women prefer men whose MHC genes (or Major
HistoCompatibility genes) are dissimilar to their own,
because this is the set of genes involved in determining an
individual’s immune function. “Having children with men
who are dissimilar produces children with healthier immune
systems,” Buss explains. “Astonishingly, women seem to
be able to pick this up through sense of smell, especially at
ovula tion, if they are not on hormonal contraceptives.”
7. Her physical health or well-being
If you’re looking for a few good reasons why she should
have s ex with you, there are countless ways in which you
can emphasize that “getting busy” would be a wise move
for her health. “During orgasm, opiates — the bo dy’s
natural painkillers — are released, which can help decrease
all sorts of aches and pains for women,” Meston explains.
s ex can also help maintain the bo dy’s flexibility and
cardiovascular health, decrease anxiety, and enhance
overall mood. Additionally, Meston notes, having s ex
during menstruation decreases a woman’s risk of
experiencing endometriosis symptoms. Of course, s ex (if it
lasts long enough!) can also be a good calorie burner, so
you can always suggest it as a fantastic way to burn off the
chocolate cheesecake you shared for dessert.
8. To raise her social status or sense of self-esteem
In their research, Meston and Buss found that, for some
women, having s ex is more about competition and winning
(see who went home with the good-looking guy at the bar?).
For women that do this to compete with others and also
raise their social standing, her intended target’s social
status is a key factor in revving her lib ido. “Young women
who are ‘grou pies,’ for example, often compete to see who
can have s ex with the musician who has a higher status,
while Monica Lewinsky raised her status by having an
intimate connection with the President,” Buss says. She
goes on to explain that, for women who have s ex to raise
their self-esteem, the motivating factor is usually the need
to feel s exually desirable. “Some women suffer from low
self-esteem and feel bad about their bo dies for a variety of
reasons, ranging from comparisons with media models to
put-downs by their regular mates,” explains Buss. Having s
ex with a man who finds her irresistibly hot and her bo dy
incredibly beautiful can provide a huge boost to a woman’s
self-esteem — so if you’re looking for a little loving, make
her feel like she’s the s exiest woman on the planet!
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